Jenna's Story - 'Growing up different'
Jenna proclaims that she wishes she could tell her younger self that she isn't the problem, and that educational institutes need to be better prepared in supporting their Disabled students, diagnosed or undiagnosed.
Growing up not knowing I was disabled was so confusing. I was excluded and I didn’t know why, other children treated me differently and I didn’t know why, I even didn’t notice part of the time. It confuses me now that other children knew I was different, but professionals and adults didn’t. It feels wrong.
It wasn’t until I was in college that I got diagnosed with several disabilities that I realised that I was different- and that hurt. It hurts to see that teachers weren’t educated on neurodiversity and disability, and are still largely clueless, even when dozens of children are alienated by classmates for their social differences.
For a lot of my life, I kept wondering why I was different, why I couldn’t do certain things, and why I struggled a great deal with other things. I was always told “you’re not different”, “there’s nothing wrong with you”, “you’re just overthinking”, instead of being told “different is okay”, “individuality isn’t a bad thing”, “no one is meant to be identical”. It was difficult to accept myself and process that those children who treated me differently and said I wasn’t like them were, in a way, right, and the adults I relied upon and trusted for my whole life were wrong, and they hadn’t bothered to take my worries as a child seriously.
I almost resent them, although they were taking care of me, it made me angry that they were wrong and that the children who used to make fun of me and my differences were right – I resented my teachers and parents especially for not seeing the differences which my classmates could see, or for not speaking up about them.
If I could talk to a younger me, I wish I could tell her – “it’s okay to be different”. I wish she would know she isn’t the problem. I wish I could tell her that one day she’ll have the answers she needs, and even though it’ll be hard to process, it’s the thing that will let her thrive. I wish I could tell her to not be so tough on herself. She deserves to take up space – and so do I.
Educational institutions need better education on disability in young people and children, to allow disabled children – diagnosed or undiagnosed – their best chances of success, comfort, and acceptance to prevent cases like mine – I know I’m not alone now.
If you would like to submit a personal story about your education or employment journey, please email youngvoices@disabilityrightsuk.org for more details. These may be used in our education and employment e-newsletter 'Future Ready', and used to support our post-16 community. You can sign up to our e-newsletter 'Future Ready' on our website.